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November 2006
01: Wednesday
A gorgeous Indian Summer day. 60º, a light breeze... The trees are getting very bare— though the maple between me and my west neighbor is still thick with yellow and green leaves...
I've repotted all the plants that are coming in for the winter. I need to make a shelf for them in the south kitchen window— and maybe I should replace that window, too, while I'm at it...
Sword...
Again, I am searching for coordination...
Some moves seem to coordinate naturally... Is this good? Is it correct?
Other moves feel awkward... but that could be my lack of understanding or skill...
What a process learning is!
Today my hands and forearms are rainbow hues, the colors of oil on puddles. I need gloves and greaves for practicing with Matt!
Dan and Lynsey showed up on time, but I got in some solid sword practice before that...
We're up to gāo tàn mǎ (and Snake Spits).
We worked on yún shǒu and talked a lot about tiger body, and about protecting your body from injury during practice. Dan's back is bothering him because of the tang soo do kicking, but he has taken my advice to heart and the tiger body is helping him.
Next we segued into a discussion about xiao jie ling jing when Dan asked about the rollback in grasp peacock and how the application works. That naturally led to discussion of the correct way to push (with the whole body as one unit, led by the fingers, of course!), and that led to the pushing exercises Jonas taught for pushing a dead weight, and "pulling" an elbow strike: xiao jie ling jing!
I talked a little more about jing and fali— and (of course!) the use of short jing that saved Uma's character in Kill Bill 2.
And because it was kicking and back problems that launched this discussion, I also showed them the difference it makes to lead kicks with the toe, and how well sweeps work when you xiao jie ling jing!
It was a beautiful day, and very comfortable on the green. Too bad it gets dark so early.
02: Thursday
Yintien and cool. A little rain, on and off...
Sword... I had to run the video once to assure myself that I wasn't leaving something out of section four. (I wasn't.)...
I was feeling the qi in the sword today, and that got me wondering about feeling the qi in the cháng dāo. It's very different. the way the weapon is moved— no, I mean the use of the blade is different. The way the weapon is moved, the method by which the warrior wields it, moves it, is the same...
Emperor of the Sea, that Korean costume epic on AZN I've been watching, had lots of sword fighting last night. Our hero, Goong-bok, is a gladiator now. There's not a lot of finesse to see in that sword work. Mostly it looked like hacking and avoiding... but that's probably closer to reality.
The disciplined training of the forms is necessary, though. I can see that. It comes in handy when you're suddenly confronted with reality—
Practice!
The sun is coming out. Everything is looking bare... but there are bright yellows left among the scarce, deep russets and bronzes. The green of the meadow is paling. The evergreens look dull, hardly a green at all. The bare maples have silver branches... I can see too far now...
Time to go to work.
03: Friday
Sunny and chill. Frost last night— you can still see it in the deep shadows of the trees on the south side of the meadow...
The last of the yellow leaves are puddling on the ground beneath the branches from which they fell. There's a wind kicking up and a few yellow leaves have settled on the porch...
Sword... the sun is in my eyes now when I fangsong... the tassel is full of static electricity. If this were a metal sword, I could deliver a nice shock!
Sword left... my brain is not deft today, but I persist... my left hand doesn't always grasp the hilt correctly. It twists for some reason...
It's very warm in the sun...
Chen... slowly...
Got lost in section five when I came out of sleeves. I went off into something other than punch the crotch, but I recovered quickly...
Later:
It was cold on the green tonight. Dan and Lynsey believe me about the qi keeping one warm, however: my hands don't get cold and I always have to take off my coat.
Tonight we tackled kicking with left and right heels, and creeping left into golden rooster stands on one leg. They're both doing well. And they ask intelligent questions. Most gratifying is their grasp of the principles and concepts...
I'm learning a lot from my students.
Emperor of the Sea featured knife fighting tonight. Lots of kicking and avoiding...
White moonlight, like the white of old oil-based paint. That chalky look... The meadow is white with frost, and the air holds a chill haze. But a few stars are diamond bright in a deep, translucent blue sky. I can see details in this moonlight, as if I'm seeing broad daylight through a dark filter... If I weren't so tired, I'd stay to practice.
04: Saturday
Sunny and cold. Another heavy frost under a bright moon...
No practice to speak of.
05: Sunday
Sunny and cold. There was another heavy frost under the bright full moon. It's warm in the sun now, though. A very light breeze is bringing down the last of the leaves. They sound like rain falling when they land...
Sword... right and left...
My energy seems very low today. Why? I got a good night's sleep...
Left sword is very confusing...
I am not happy with sword, left or right.
06: Monday
A little milder...
I've been thinking about something Matt told me yesterday during practice. He said he couldn't bring himself to push me hard on the chest. He didn't say it as if it were a big problem, just a fact. Something he needed to tell me. But it's bothering me...
Sword on the green. I am not happy with sword...
Dan stopped by. We agreed we both have low energy levels. Full moon's backwash? Maybe. We did a few sets and then he went off to tang soo do, and I to tang-o.
Tango wasn't much fun.
07: Tuesday
Cloudy. Mild. Getting windy...
I have an ache in my left lower back, from what I know not. Did I do something I don't remember?
Sword... I'm still not happy with sword...
I did some coordinated stepping exercises today— some triangle and revolved triangle poses, too— to let my back stretch out...
Step left, right, left... circle the arms clockwise, elbows pinned, the while; then do the same circling the arms counterclockwise... On one step, your hands will "pick up" and "put down" your foot; on the other step, hands and feet will be splitting the energy between them...
08: Wednesday
Fog and rain. Mild.
Stepping on the green, back and forth, up and down...
I spent some time on the Internet trying to find some sort of chest protector I can wear under a baggy shirt. Maybe that will make Matt feel more comfortable...
My back is fine— a twinge, no more than that. I pay particular attention to transferring my weight as I step...
Chen in the rain...
Sloppy. Very sloppy— and I don't mean the rain. I feel it will be years before I understand this Chen form.
09: Thursday
Yintien... a little rain. Very mild (56º).
Sword seems to have improved, but I am still not happy with it...
Whaddaya want on a dull, rainy day?
10: Friday
Sunny and mild. Too warm during practice!
Stick, left and right, plus the horizontal/vertical strike exercise Matt showed me Sunday, the other part of the Largo Mano exercise I already know... I had the bamboo singing nicely with my left hand...
Chen...
When I woke this morning, I was going over all the "easy" stuff. The Yang. Yang is easy. Now. I need to really dig in and made the Chen "easy." Yeah.
Last night, I was trying to find the balance of the closing forms for 32 Sword. I couldn't. It's the same in jīn gāng dǎo zhùi. Your weight is on the left foot and you've got to move your right foot into position without lurching...
I can imagine the move in my head as a smooth, balanced transition, but the reality doesn't hack it...
I need more strength. Maybe I should look into joining a gym again. I was talking to Bill last night. He says the one in Smithfield he goes to is cheap enough. Hmmmm....
11: Saturday
Pale sun. Feels mild, but temp is only 45º...
Bits and pieces trying to get the details right...
Chen... dān bīan... lìu fē ng sì bì... lǎn zhā yī... yé mǎ fēng zōng...
Lotus kicks... still so much harder on the left!
Last night, I got Dan and Lynsey as far as the set up for fair lady. The kicks and creeping are difficult to master. They're doing very well...
I emphasized that it's the coordination and the adherence to the taiji principles that are most important. Those are what train your body to listen and respond correctly. The forms are just giving you a routine to practice to learn those things. When you've mastered coordination and the principles have been embodied in you, too, then taiji becomes improvisation. Then anything you choose to do becomes correct taiji.
Once you've mastered the principles of writing, learned the alphabet and phonics, you can then write anything— or read anything...
It's all the same. Music. Math. Dance. Sailing. Sewing. Listening. Loving. Master the principles. Practice. And go from there.
Visiting the Dead
Today is the 37th anniversary of my dad's death. I went to the cemetery and I brought my jian and my stick...
I've been to the grave quite a few times over the years, but you couldn't say "often." And I haven't spoken to Dad in years. I believe the last time we spoke was when I went to demonstrate the taiji Ma and I were learning... four years ago?
Anyway, I took a notion that I wanted Dad to see my progress. I showed him my new 32 Sword and my old 24 Form, and the dry brown leaves crackled underfoot. We didn't speak.
As I was going through the forms, I happened to notice that the American flag on a gravesite a few plots over was atilt. When I finished my forms, I went over and reset the flag upright, then I took a look around and noticed there were quite a few flags needed straightening. I decided to walk the cemetery and attend to them...
I know most of the names, know most of the families. It's a small town I grew up in... but this Protestant/non-denominational cemetery only holds a fraction of the folks I knew. The others are in the care of the Catholic church across the river on the hill opposite the Congregational church— though I don't believe they're visible to each other, even in winter. (December 2006: Yes, you can see the steeple of the Catholic church from the Congregational church's front porch. But I don't think you can see the Congregational church from the Catholic church's grounds.)
I straightened flags, reaffixed holders; from time to time, I remembered also to say thank you... and I said hello to my cousin Bill, a good guy gone too soon...
I remembered that Uncle Tommy mentioned recently that he still has Uncle Jim's grave marker at this house. He's had if for years. It's a brass plaque from the VA that, for lack of a round tuit, just never got installed. So, having a few hours of a pleasant day's light left for the task, I headed over to Uncle Tom's to fetch the marker.
We found the plaque in the garage, mounting bolts with it— not that I would need to mount the plaque on anything, but it's remarkable that they were still with the plaque— and I was back at the cemetery in less than half an hour.
I set the plaque where it looked best, and used it's edges to guide Uncle Tom's edger. On trying to pry the first piece of sod up, the edger broke. I debated whether to return to borrow more tools, or just to go home and get my own. I decided to head home, collect my tools, and invite Ma to come back with me.
I grabbed my shovel and stashed it in the back of the truck, then I gathered up the et cetera and headed for Ma's. She was waiting for me on her front stoop. When she got in, I handed her the work gloves and trowel and garden claw to hold, and we were off.
It only took a few minutes to dig out the sod and smooth the dirt— the earth here seems to lay lightly. I screwed the bolts into the back of the plaque to give it some purchase in the dirt, and dropped it into place. Then I stood on it to press it down.
I put the sod pieces in the trash barrel, spread the dirt I'd shaken from it around evenly on the site, and dusted off the plaque. Ma watched the while. As I was finishing up, the carillon at the church began to play and we looked west towards the church to see the gold disk of the sun setting on the top of the hill. The carillon was installed in memory of Dad...
Uncle Jim died on April 20, 1986. It takes us a while to get around to these chores when it's family, it seems. I re-straightened the flag holders on his and Dad's graves— they're in the same family plot: brothers-in-law.
I don't think I'll ever join the others of my family there in our cemetery. It's too sad to think of being only a name on a plaque on the ground— if someone remembers to mark my place. I think I'd rather have my ashes scattered to the winds so I can be part of the whole world...
Ma and I headed back to Uncle Tom's.
He wasn't surprised about the edger breaking. That edger might have been older than me; might've been Grampa's. No one remembers now.
Ma got the tour of the addition that's being built on the back of Uncle Tom's house, then we took her inside to visit with her sister, Auntie Clare. (AHN-tee. That's the proper way to say it around here.) And Lew and Sandra and I went back out into the yard to visit amongst ourselves...
There was a nice pile of scrap lumber in the back yard, and Sandra decided we ought to burn it and bake some potatoes in the process. She prepared the taters, wrapped 'em in foil, clamped 'em in a broiling rack, and off we went.
The wood caught after a bit— it was little damp, else we'd never've chanced a fire— and worked into a nice blaze, shot through with colors from the odd bits of wood and detritus treated and tainted with heaven knows what...
It was a beautiful fire. At one point we had to haul the rack holding the taters out because it was glowing orange hot. We moved it out of the holocaust, put a little water on it and set it back over the coals...
When we judged the taters were done— Sandra poked 'em with a barbecue fork— we hauled 'em out, damped the fire, and went inside to eat.
The biggest taters were a little al dente in the middle, and there was a little charring of the skins, and it got a bit messy with the butter and all, but everyone agreed they tasted great. Best taters any of us had eaten in a long while!
Sandra and Lew and I cleaned up Auntie Clare's kitchen, then went back out to check on the fire. The colors and the coals were so beautiful we let the fire burn and stayed to watch.
It was eight o'clock by the time Ma and I said good night and headed for home and a proper supper.
It was a beautiful day.
12: Sunday
Rain and mild (60º). Delightful practice weather— on the back porch!
24 Form— no, stepping first. Up and down and up and down, forwards and backwards, thinking all the while about how to convey the technique to my students...
I know the mechanics of stepping now as I've never known them before. I can perceive differences made to the balance and the energy by the changes in foot position, hand position, body posture... it's ... I haven't words yet.
24 Form... ten sets, all left...
None of the sets was perfect, but each was an illuminating experience. I learned from each. I learned from the mistakes, but also I learned from the "rightness" I achieved...
I've never before felt so connected physically and mentally to the forms. The qi was amazing... Long about set six, my body started to ... not shake, but... resonate. Amazing. (Maybe it was only low blood sugar, but, it made my taiji feel... amazing!)
13: Monday
Rainy, gray, and cool (50º). There's one crow mad about something on the far side of the meadow. I'd think it was a yappy little dog but that the noise comes from the treetop... Now there's an angry squirrel, too...
Stepping...
Stepping out to my left isn't as easy as to my right. Left steps are shorter by a bit, too. So I taped a square on the boards and am practicing stepping out right and left. With the lines to guide me I don't go short on the left...
This practice is strengthening my lower back, too. I wasn't remaining as upright on the left kicks...
Yes, my left knee is in need of strengthening...
Mad crow. Now he sounds like a crow...
Maybe I should join a gym...
Grasp Peacock's Tail...
Have you ever tried to figure out— all on your own— exactly what's going on in that move? After working it left and right for a half and hour, I have about a jillion questions— and that's just for starters!
Step out ... ward off... grasp... pull... press... grab... pull... change sides...
Easy. Until you start playing with the stance, the balance, the coordination...
F'rinstance, pulling that tail, do you only bring your weight back to the center of a >span class="pinyin">ma bu stance? Of do you want to go further and shift weight to the opposite side, maybe even bringing the trailing foot in so it can kick again to lead you into the shoulder, elbow, wrist press?
14: Tuesday
Yintien. Mild. A little humid...
Sword. Today I put on music. The taiji sword piece runs 3 minutes and 20 seconds. I set it on repeat...
to my mind, the music doesn't match with the sword forms. But it's an excellent way to take your mind off the form and focus it on a different rhythm...
A couple of times I got the set to conclude with the music. Most of the time, I was ahead... The music sees too fast, way too fast. But then I have no idea how fast the forms should be done...
It makes sense that sword moves should be quick in places— in execution, surely.
I got out the cháng dāo and tried it with the music. The whole form might've taken me two minutes... It just isn't a taiji form— either that, or I'm not master enough to figure it out. (Highly likely, that!)
I did a few strength exercises for my wrists, like holding the cháng dāo horizontally, from the hilt, arm slightly extended. My left hand is weaker, but my left arm has a steadier grip...
I decided to stand post for a bit. I held the cháng dāo upright in my right hand for four repetitions of the sword piece...
Interesting experience. At first, I felt weightless, as if my legs didn't exist, but very solid. There was no feeling of strain or weight from the sword...
Long about the end of the third rep— ten or eleven minutes in— my whole body started to feel very heavy, as if I had turned to stone. Solid. And then I began to notice my feet because my balance wasn't even; then I noticed my neck wasn't properly aligned...
If I hadn't let myself notice, how much longer could I have stood there "weightless"?
One sure can learn a lot from zhan zhuang.
Sometimes I think I'm making progress. Sometimes I think I'm... totally FUBAR.
15: Wednesday
Yintien. Mild. The sun is struggling to come through. A breeze keeps the chimes singing, and angry jay is making a ruckus...
Today I grasp the peacock's tail without thinking and everything seems to work in harmony, smoothly...
But I worry: Have I got any of this right?
Happy birthday, David!
16: Thursday
Rain. Downpours. But mild.
The rain held off last night for our lesson. We reviewed everything up through creeping. Kicking and creeping are even harder than waving, it seems. But Dan and Lynsey are getting the moves...
Stick. Largo mano, and the other striking routine, left and right...
It comes together...
I need straw targets to whack.
17: Friday
cloudy and mild. Last night's winds have died down, but the wind chimes do not cease to sing...
Stick...
The porch is too small now. The practice area must be completed and straw targets made...
My left hand/arm needs more strength...
Practice!
I spent a few minutes remembering han bo. How different it feels now, after all my stick practice! (Neat!)
Mild on the green. Just me and Dan. Lynsey stopped by to say a friend was in trouble, so I sent her off. People come first.
Review, then, I showed Dan fair lady. I told him to think about what the application might be, suggested possibilities. I had him tell me what taiji principles he'd learned so far. (Six harmonies, elbows pinned
[Here I was interrupted.]
18: Saturday
Cool and pleasant, but I spent the day working around the house.
19: Sunday
Cool and gray. November. Matt came early and we schlepped the fridge out to the sidewalk, and were free to play after that...
"Knife." Rolled up copies of the Bargain Buyer work exceedingly well— at last I have a practical use for the accumulated copies! (Though I have to admit, if you need a scrubber for a dirty job, cut a fringe along the bottom edge, roll it up, and it will do a nice cleaning job.)
We didn't use gloves. And that was okay. We were avoiding knuckles clashes. Until I mentioned it. Isn't that the way! Once again, the first two knuckles of my right fist are swollen and turning colorful...
But we're learning. Today, quite naturally, I began using my left hand to block. And we're both doing more moving around—
We need more space, and Angel and Sarah brought the first load of mulch right before Matt arrived. Next weekend I'll be able to start building the practice area. Yay!
We watched some video clips I found on YouTube. Push hands. Interesting... I also found some old clips of Yang stylists from the 1940's and 1950's which I sent along to Daniel and Lynsey.
20: Monday
Cool and gray to begin, but it seems to be clearing...
My right arm is pretty beat up. Some of the bruises are from grabs, but rolled up Bargain Buyers deliver a good whack. I accidentally smacked Matt in the head a couple of times yesterday. He didn't mind, but I was mad at myself for not having more control. We have to be careful. Either that or get eye protection.
[Interruptions, interruptions!]
21: Tuesday
Sunny and... crisp. It's warn in the sun. I need my hat to keep the glare out of my eyes...
Birds are chipping, as are the 'munks and squirrels...
Sword...
I am not happy with closing form. Not at all... I could watch the tape again, but I'd rather find it on my own...
The other day, I told Matt it worries me that I'm having too much fun to be learning anything useful. And yet, I know I am learning...
Sometimes now when Matt and I practice, everything seems to slow down and I can see and think about what's happening, actually formulate a response. But the best thing is that we get to try thing out, and it works, great, and if it doesn't, we can try something else. And neither of us gets frustrated or impatient because we're both having a great time learning...
Matt's on my list for Thursday.
I am impatient with the Chen. Why can't I get the qi to come as it does in Yang! (Practice?)
22: Wednesday
Frosty nights, now. And the frost lingers, too!
The sky looked as if it might clear, a swatch of blue appeared to the west, but no...
No practice to speak of, but I did do some silk reeling by the wood stove at Jo's. And later I worked before the mirror trying to find the balance for jī n gā ng dǎo zhùi and closing sword form. (I didn't find it.)
23: Thursday
A cold and rainy day. Windy, too. But not bad for practice...
But I feel the practice is bad. Stepping, I felt off, especially when stepping to the right. When I added hands, the coordination was... off.
Chen was... *sigh* I did remember to keep my hands relaxed, but... *sigh*
I have it in my head that I'm bad at Chen, and so I am...
I know I'm probably not as bad as I think I am; I know I only need to practice assiduously— why doesn't all my work on 24 Form "translate" to xin jia yi lu? Even though they're both taiji, they're different languages. Now. For me.
Thanksgiving Day. I have much that I am thankful for. I wish you all the best, my friends. Peace.
24: Friday
Sunny and warm. Absolutely gorgeous. Teeshirt weather at 65º.
Sword. Right and left (left, not so good)...
Better. A little better.
25: Saturday
Sunny and cold. Heavy frost last night, and ice on the water...
Sword left totally bites it. *Aaaaaarrrrrgh!*
26: Sunday
27: Monday
A gorgeous day. Pale sun in a gray sky with blue striations. Mild at 50º, and getting milder...
Stepping... making sure that when I take long steps I can "take it back" as it's no good sinking deeper than I can control...
Some Yang...
I am moving through air that feels like water... going very slowly... I feel the six harmonies in almost every move...
I muff creeping... *sigh* Nobody's perfect!
Matt came to play yesterday. We were laughing from the start and it took us a while— no, we never did settle down completely, and we did way too much talking and not enough concentrating on practice... but that's how people become friends.
We played "knife fighting" and push hands...
Sundays just aren't long enough.
28: Tuesday
Some practice... I can't concentrate.
29: Wednesday
Gray and chill... I hope the rain will hold off for tonight's lesson...
Stepping... being sure I can "pull it back" each time. I must remember to have Daniel and Lynsey practice this...
Very mild on the green...
We talked about the videos [the YouTube ones] I assigned them to watch. They like the push hands best... They weren't quite sure what to make of the old masters' forms, but the push hands impressed them and they played at "bouncing" each other backwards...
We worked on everything after snake spits up to working the shuttles, them... I took them through to the end of the form. Maybe I rushed it, I don't know. But I remember that when I learned the form from David, he presented it to us in sections, not single moves, and that often I couldn't remember the whole section...
For beginners it makes sense to give them the... "wide view," instead of all the details.
They did well, and we laughed a lot. I told them we'd go to the Asian Paradise for dinner after class on Friday to celebrate.
30: Thursday
Gray and mild— 60º! The sun is trying to come through...
The pinned elbows of my Chen training are now integral to my Yang execution. I can't do the forms any other way without thinking hard about it. It's a good thing this change makes solid technical sense...
Last night, I taught fair lady through closing using the pinned elbows principle, and... it worked beautifully. The principle allows one to understand and utilize the circles so much more easily.
Copyright © 2006 New Moon
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