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December 2006
'The Practice Dojo Takes Shape' © 2006 New Moon
01: Friday
Rain and mild (60º!). Diamond drops hang from bare branches. The wind kicks up from time to time— it has twisted the lengths of weed barrier laid out for the practice area, and I've had take them up...
Crazy crows calling in the trees' tops; crazier squirrels leaping from branches...
The wind chimes sing...
Sword...
I got completely lost in the left version, and it was tough to straighten out! The right side version became a mystery for a while, too, but I got 'em both worked out. *Phew*
But I still can't find that closing form for sword, right nor left.
02: Saturday
Sunny, cold and windy. The wind blew away the rain and the warmth...
It was warm and humid on the green last night, but the rain held off for class. We practiced on the sidewalk to get a better idea of the orientation of the moves...
There was a gusty wind that made practice interesting for all of us...
Daniel and Lynsey have the whole of 24 form on their own now. Yay! We went to dinner at Shanghai over on Thayer to celebrate. We were going to go to the Asian Paradise, but it has suddenly become a Vietnamese restaurant. We could've gone there still, but I felt we should stick with Chinese for our taiji celebration.
We ate and talked until nearly nine o'clock. It was enjoyable. Those kids have good, lively minds.
Today, after schlepping Ma all over, I didn't feel like practicing at all. Maybe I should've made myself do it, but...
Later, down at Jo's, I got in a little practice in front of the wood stove. Jo had one of her herbal students staying. A woman who had learnt a little taiji years ago. When she found out I teach, she asked what I teach first. "Stepping," I told her. "After that, the arm movements." And I showed her the stepping and the pinned elbow silk reeling.
Matt called today to say he's got guard tomorrow. Rats. But we'll get together next Sunday.
03: Sunday
Sunny and breezy and 50º: absolutely gorgeous practice weather. It is a shame Matt has guard today. (Rats!)
Sword... the tassle splays out from the static electricity in the air...
Much better. Much. But I know I still have a very long way to go before my body will understand this form...
Left side... better, but in some places I get turned around to right side if I'm not paying attention...
I am a teacher. What do I teach? Everything I've learned. Everything.
We are all teachers, but some of us don't know that...
Matt is my teacher now. He's teaching me stick and knife, and he's teaching me about myself...
High ice crystal clouds are moving across the sun... mare's tails, flounder fillets with rainbows... beautiful...
Chen...
It's all there, but... there's no feeling to it...
Yet.
04: Monday
Brilliant near-full moon. Snow— just a dusting— early this morning. I didn't sleep well...
No time for practice today. I hate that. But I haven't the discipline to make it happen...
Some silk reeling by the wood stove this evening while Jo and I talked. Then a walk in the woods under the brilliant moon, snow crunching underfoot... beautiful.
But now I'm too tired, too lazy, to make myself go out onto the porch to practice.
05: Tuesday
Snow. 30º. Yesterday's snow has disappeared. This snow— none to be seen on the ground yet— is a fine powder, not flakes, so it must be very cold up above. The cloud cover isn't holding any heat...
Taiji...
The sun is out. The light dusting is melting quickly wherever the sun touches it, but the tree branches retain their white outlines...
Sword... much better, right and left. And yet, I think I should look at the video...
Some 24 Form... comfortable... to this day I hear David's voice when I practice. Today he reminded me that we're constantly making correction steps...
Some Chen... I do need to watch the DVD again— the run through, to see the whole.
So strange for it to be so cold, to feel it nipping my fingers and toes, to see my breath...
But practicing in the cold makes me feel more like myself...
If I don't put a tarp over that mulch, I',m going to have a big, brown iceberg in the yard until spring. I hope the weather is better this weekend for building my practice area...
I'm glad David chose the sword with the tassel for me.
06: Wednesday
Pale sun... a pale blue sky almost completely obscured by an overlay of striated white and gray... wind... cold...
Odd exercises... taiji circles... kicks... today I am not limber...
24 Form... well enough...
Stick...
Without thought, I began doing this as a taiji exercise: every stroke precise and fluid, much slowed, but strong because I was relaxed. The sitck is not separate from me now... very interesting...
I've never felt so connected to a weapon before...
Han bo— Matt's stick, really — just for fun... the moves rise up from the obscure depths... this has changed, too...
Thinking, but not thinking, I walk the porch balancing Matt's bamboo stick on one finger... left hand, right hand, this finger, that finger... sometimes the wind catches the stick and I can't compenstate— an interesting exercise...
07: Thursday
Sunny, mild, breezy... 50º. Nice...
Stick...
Around and around and around... right and left... easily, smoothly...
I feel the difference on the left: not as easy, not as balanced... that will change...
Around and around and around...
Only Daniel showed last night. Lynsey's classes must've run long. We did the form through three times, then worked on everything from fair lady to the end, then back to... everything else, to touch on details. Daniel is doing well.
...
I tried stick form using the chang dao and "working" the blade in the strokes... it's not stick form anymore, of course, but it's an interesting practice form...
Chang dao... frustrating. My second chang dao should arrive soon, though, and perhaps Matt can be convinced to learn it...
The pot of memorial tulips I forgot to plant this spring (they come to me after they've appeared in church in memory of Dad at Easter) has begun to sprout. I wonder if the bulbs will flower.... Maybe it's a message from Dad remarking on my visit on Veterans' Day. Or perhaps from Uncle Jim. Maybe he's glad to have his grave marker...
I don't really believe the spirits linger on this plane, but I think our memories shape energy into the semblance— as they say, thoughts are things. We create the ghosts, I think.
I've put a tarp over the mulch pile, just in case. With any luck, I'll be able to start shifting it Saturday... (Yay!)
Can't wait to have a big practice area, and some straw bales to whack at...!
08: Friday
Sun and cold— really cold: 20º — and windy— really windy... I emailed Daniel and Lynsey to wear hats and gloves tongiht.
Had an email from Raven Studios saying that my chang dao is on the way. Yay!
Cold on the green, but not as windy as this morning. I kept my gloves on, but loaned my hat to Daniel. He says he's going to buy himself a Brown bear hat. (Brown knit hat with little bear ears. Silly. Lynsey already has one.)
A good lesson. Three sets, then we did a bunch of creeping to stay warm, went over grasp needle and fair lady— lots of stuff...
I let the kids go early and stayed for some sword practice... Had to take off the gloves for this. Even though I didn't feel particularly cold, the tension it produced in my body affected my balance. I never notice that before...
Sword is improving...
But it's stick that I really feel the connection with.
09: Saturday
Warmer: 30º. A little overcast, but the sun keeps trying... some breeze...
Earlier this morning it was very clear, and a translucent gibbous moon was over in the northwest...
Long shadows of course... crazy crows...
I find myself thinking that I'm afraid Matt will become afraid of me and not want to play anymore... I hope I'm being silly...
A set of Chen...
It's going to be a while before this is easy.
10: Sunday
Beautiful! Gorgeous! Perfect practice weather.
Matt came over to play. (Yay!)
Before he arrived, I did a little sword to find out if I was stiff from yesterday's yard work. (I cleaned up by the front porch and next to the garage; filled in the hole in the front where the tree was taken down all those years ago... and by then, there was no time to work on the practice area.) I was good.
Since I haven't got the mulch down yet, I tried a set of chang dao on the grass: not too bad. We could practice there if we wanted...
But we stayed on the porch and beat each other up with rolled Bargain Buyers...
Matt asked me what I thought the difference is between martial arts. I said I think it's all a matter of learning to read energy, and of training yourself to use energy to respond correctly...
Matt seemed dissatisfied with that answer. Maybe it doesn't take into account the "external" side of the arts... I don't know.
But... I have a notion that internal and external are all one thing, and the labels are just for talking purposes.
Matt says he's got exams next week, so he may not be able to get together with me for practice. On the other hand, he says he may need a break by Sunday afternoon. He'll let me know Saturday.
11: Monday
Cloudy and mild. Wish I had time to practice this morning...
Pepe, one of the JCBL's directors, and I got to talking at the non-Christmas party last night. He used to study taiji, but he hasn't kept it up. I reminded him that he can still practice the qigong/silk reeling aspects of it even if he doesn't remember the forms, and got my practice in by showing him the moves. I invited him to join my classes if he wants, but he says there's a morning class at the senior center near his house (he's 82), and he might try that again. I hope he does.
12: Tuesday
Beautiful day. Sun and mild (50º now), with a light breeze...
But I feel very mentally disjointed today. Why?
Some 24 Form... the qi is strong today, the coordination amazing... can this be right?
Some sword... good, but... the sword isn't part of me yet...
I should've gotten up early and begun moving mulch. But I didn't. *sigh*
I've got some good bruises from Sunday, but, you know what? I'm learning to... meet the incoming force more softly. It's very interesting. This practice with Matt has been invaluable...
Invaluable.
Thank you, Kwan Yin.
Some stick— largo mano— just because it feels so good...
13: Wednesday
Mild and... maybe rainy. The sky is dark and heavy...
No morning practice because Jo called to chat.
Mild on the green; still coludy. No rain, but everything seemed wet...
We worked on fair lady through closing forms, straightening out details...
I talked about coordination, how the body wants to be coordinated, how the moves will coordinate with practice...
14: Thursday
Mild and clearing...
The balance on my left leg isn't correct. I can feel that the weight isn't distributed on my foot correctly. The muscles in my calf can't compensate for that atrophied muscle...
Funny. I was okay for a while. Didn't notice this balance problem. Guess I've reached a new level and my leg hasn't caught up yet.
My god! I feel stupid today! shǎn tōng bèi— Chen style... I got to the throw and couldn't get to yán shǒu hóng qúan. *sigh* But I liked what I was doing with shǎn tōng bèi.
Sword...
Maybe it's the sunspots. I'm all over the place today— flying elbows! *Aaaaarrrgh* Daniel and Lynsey would have some questions if they were watching this!
... though, left sword is improving—
Time to fetch Ma for shopping.
Found the qigong exercises for Lucy: T'ai Chi Magazine, June 2006, Volume 30, Number 3. She can do these exercises lying down while she's recuperating.
Took Ma down to Jo's tonight and we all— including Ruth, Jo's mom— went up on the hill behind the barn to watch the meteor shower. (Geminids.) We brought lawn chairs and blankets, and sat facing north. It was only about 42º, pretty mild for December, so we were comfortable...
But we didn't see any meteors. It was too early, really. However, there were about forty airplanes an hour shooting across the night sky!
Ruth got fed up about quarter past nine, and we headed back to her house for tea and cranberry English muffins. On the way back, Jo saw one meteor shoot over the barn, but the rest of us missed it.
Ma and I left after ten. We kept our eyes peeled on the way home, but no luck... And by the time I left Ma's, the haze had moved in. Ah, well. Maybe next time.
15: Friday
Cloudy and mild. A little breeze to stir the chimes...
I slept in today. The dull cloudiness couldn't temp me out of bed.
Mild on the green. Some stick before the kids arrived. Good, solid, swings; lots of follow-through...
Lots of 24 Form review tonight, and working on the pinned elbows and the circling forearms...
All they need— all any of us needs— is lots of practice.
16: Saturday
Sunny and mild, with a bit of a breeze... It didn't get up above 50º today, but the sun was warm enough— if you kept moving... Why are all the seagulls hanging around inland? They're all up circling the pond. Is it that windy down at the shore?
Got in some sword practice while Ma was at taiji. I finally had to look at the video again, however. I discovered I haven't been doing rhinocerous gazing at the moon correctly— and there were a few other details I had lost track of, too... *sigh* Still and all, it wasn't too bad— nothing egregiously messed up. (And I was doing it all left-handed, besides!)
I got some time to myself this afternoon and started working on the practice area. I got three 25 foot sections of weed barrier down and covered with enough mulch to hold 'em— I hope...
Tomorrow is supposed to be nice again, so I can schlep more mulch...
But I wonder if Matt will want a break from studying for his exams tomorrow. It would be nice if he wants to practice... But if not, I'll schlep instead. It'll be nice to have a big practice area.
17: Sunday
Overcast mostly, but the pale sun breaks through from time to time. It's cool today (about 45º)...
No practice with Matt today. He's studying for exams. We talked for a while last night about practice and stuff, and we agree that we've got to practice consistently to improve— or even stay in the same place! But exams come first now, so we'll just have to practice solo. *sigh* I miss our "knife" practice and push hands practice...
But it's excellent weather for schlepping mulch— bucket after bucket after bucket of mulch— and now the practice dojo in the side yard is really beginning to take shape...
The mulch pile doesn't seem to be appreciably diminished... 8 yards. The pile is nearly five feet high, and the 12 by 16 tarp barely covered it... 
I wonder how many buckets I schlepped today. I tried to keep count... That mulch is as heavy as the peastone, I swear. It got soaked after it was delivered, before I covered it with a tarp. Next time I'll know to cover it right away...
If the weather holds, I may be able to finish getting the surface down this week, and, maybe, Matt and I will be able to try it out next Sunday. Yay!
While we were standing around talking after coffee at Ruth's this afternoon, I did some silk reeling while I was listening, and it came to me what I was trying to tell Lynsey and Daniel about yún shǒu the other night. It's different in Yang and Chen, but the pinned elbow approach seems to work the best, martially speaking. So. The ward off hand must continue to circle out and down to come back as the low block; and the low block circles up to become the ward off... Neat, the way the hands move, making those circles, turning from block to ward off... Very neat.
18: Monday
Hot and humid today— if you're schlepping buckets of mulch. Otherwise, it's cold and damp. Either way, it's gray now. But there were a few pale rays seeping through earlier. I don't know what the weather will do today...
My right hip has a kink in it. Schelpping. After I have breakfast, I'll take some sword to it...
Last class tonight until after the winter break. I must remember to ask the kids when they will get back...
It'll be strange not having lessons.
Two sets of sword, right side. Better. I seem to be finding the "line."
19: Tuesday
Sunny and cold. (40º) (Is 40º really cold?)
Only Daniel last night on the green. He was a little wired from exams. Lynsey's exam was a 3-hour and went until 5 o'clock, so she probably needed to eat or crash.
They're both headed home for the holidays. I won't see them again until the end of January.
I got in some sword practice last night. It has come to my attention that, at times, my balance slips onto my toes. I suppose that's to be expected when learning to weild a sword— though, I never noticed that happening with the chang dao—
We'll see about that! My second practice weapon has arrived. Yay! Maybe now I can convince Matt to learn to form.
Last night, Daniel and I worked on bits and pieces. The silk reeling with pinned elbows is still difficult for him, but he understands how and why the principle works, especially when it's combined with xiao jie ling jing and fangsong and folding the kwa. You can create quite a throw combining those three elements! Try it in grasping.
20: Wednesday
Sunny and 40º. Heavy frost last night, though, that lingers in the shadows...
I should've gotten up early, but I didn't.
Two sets of 24 Form (left)...
On the first set, I puzzled about why my right knee hurt...
On the second set, I adjusted and the pain went away, so I started puzzling about what and how I'm teaching...
Sometimes I wonder if I've got everything wrong... and yet, I seem to understand articles and video tapes and discussions— I knew exactly what Master Zhang Zhi Jun was trying to convey in that workshop way back when, and I've used that information, and used it successfully, I believe...
I don't know, though, what I do know... I need a new teacher.
Later: A little taiji (24 Form), and a little silk reeling by the wood stove... the qi is strong.
21: Thursday
Gray and chill. Solstice. The shortest day of the year...
Today, sword bites. My energy is all over the place. I feel disjointed. *aaaaargh*
One set of chang dao with the new weapon...
It feels so light... and easy to weild, too— or would be if not for the length hangin me up. Later today I'll see about smoothing down the practice area, but I have a feeling it's going to take time to settle properly after smoothing.
Later:
Breakfast with Lew and Jo, then back here to smooth over the mulch. Yes, it's going to need time to settle.
Some 24 Form, mindful of my stepping and the direction of my toes. I've noticed my toes turning out too much...
Six or seven sets, left side... good sets, but nothing is perfect. Today peacock doesn't work well. Go figure.
I've been trying to find a Chen way of stepping out to begin. No reason. Once I figured out that my weight had to shift into mǎ bù immediately as my heel hit the ground, it was easy. (I'd been keeping my weight on one leg because of the way Jonas taught us to do the set up for lǎn zhā yī. In that, the weight remains on the rooted foot after jīn gāng dǎo zhùi.
Anyway, I figured it out, then I added a definitive an move with the hands. Works nice.
Some Chen...
Today my focus was good. I was "in" each move, getting it right: much less sloppy!
So, Maybe there's hope for my chen to work as well as my Yang. Heaven knows it's only a matter of working the energy. Maybe focus is the key. We'll see.
The latest issue of T'ai Chi Magazine arrived Tuesday. The article "The Internal Work of Liuhu Bafa" is interesting...
Later:
Got out of work early. The sun was low in the west and it was quite pelasant by the water, so I lingered for one set of 24 Form in my Santa Claus hat...
Then I went shopping for the only present I'll buy this year: a bokken for Matt. I found one at Ninja World. Red oak, nice finish, though the edges of the hilt were very sharp and the groove for the— tsuba, is it?— the guard was rough. I filed down the edges and smoothed the groove...
I wanted to personalize the bokken in some way, but I didn't want to put initials on it— don't ask my why, though; maybe I just didn't want Matt to think I was getting mushy on him— so I settled for writing the characters for shugyo on the flat butt end with indelible marker. Then I gave the bokken a rub down with tung oil...
In Japanese, shugyo means "train." Imperative. In Chinese, the characters are xiū xíng, "go practice." Seemed appropriate.
 
22: Friday
Sunny and cold— well, cold during the night. Heavy frost lingers in the shadows contrasting with the warmth of the places where the sunlight touches...
No practice today. The furnace decided to play its tricks and my morning was taken up by dealing with that.
After work, I could've stayed to practice on the green, but... I decided to do errands. Guess I miss the kids.
23: Saturday
Rain and very mild. The windows are fogged up on the outside. I have the back door open to warm the house up...
No taiji for Ma today, so we did shopping instead...
Some 24 Form...
Today I feel... inadequate. My moves are smooth and glowing and balanced, but... are they correct? I don't know.
I have bought one present: an oaken bokken for Matt. I sanded it down (it had very sharp edges) and put a coat of tung oil— I've already written about this, haven't I. *sigh* Anyway, it's a very nice practice weapon.
24: Sunday
Sunny and cold— but changeable looking. A little windy, too...
Matt's coming over to practice— to train— he's here.
Later:
I write now with my new "ninja" pen. It's a slender, black instrument, a present from Matt. An unobtrusive, potentially lethal weapon. And I can write with it. Excellent!
Matt liked his bokken, and we broke in the practice area today sparring bokken against chang dao. The guards on the chang daos were no match for the oaken bokken, though: both guards broke. Oh, well. I'll write to let Carina at Raven Studios know (she's the artist who crafted them). The fix may be as simple as changing the direction of the grain.... or perhaps fitting a metal piece... I'm sure it's fixable.
The breaks didn't stop us, but I had to put on my garden gloves to protect my hand from the sharpness of the broken edges. Both sheared off on the right side, so my thumb was still protected, but the broken edges dug into the back of my hand.
The bokken was unscathed. That made me wish I'd bought one for me.
Oh! But we did have fun! The whole practice area is trampled down from our duelling. My right hand is beat up, as I mentioned; and Matt had a red welt on his right cheek from the chang dao. I felt bad about that. But he didn't even mention it when it happened. "It won't scar," he said when I noticed it. So he won't be able to claim he studied at Heidleberg...
We agree that we need to get eye protection.
We practiced push hands and did some sparring on the porch...
Today Matt suggested we change the paradigm. He wants us to take turns being attacker and defender so that we can work on technique and on discovering all the possibilities, both for defending and attacking. Excellent idea. But I felt weird when I was the attacker because, well, face it, I'd have to be high on PCP or something to even consider attacking Matt barehanded... but I tried...
I am learning a lot. Matt says he's learning a lot, too. (I still can't believe my good luck in finding Matt. Thank you, Kwan Yin.)
I just finished cleaning the weapons. Blood and mulch in the grain of the wood had to be taken out with the nail brush. I put another coat of tung oil on 'em...
I should probably remove the remains of the broken guards, but I'd hate to do more damage... and what am I going to replace them with? I wonder if I might get Carina to send me some blanks I can fit myself... Then again, perhaps I should let her do the repair... We'll see what she says...
It was an excellent practice session.
25: Monday
Yintien and chill...
I have a lot to think about. Both my chang daos are broken— have broken guards; and, on inspecting them this morning, I find that my first seems to be developing a split in the blade along the grain line. A few more good whacks from that oaken bokken and the blade will probably break. Rats.
I know and understand that wooden weapons, my practice weapons, are inherently flawed just because they are made of wood...
If we, Matt and I, had more finesse with the weapons, if we were more capable of feeling and controlling the way the weapons must and can be handled to compensate for their inherent weakness, could we use these weapons and not incur breakage?
I feel we've behaved as heedless children, causing destruction because of our ignorance and lack of control. Maybe so. What would a true Master have to say to us? I wonder.
I've been inspecting my "ninja" pen. Neat. All flat black with a brushed steel clip. The ink cartrige says "M16." Cool. I always wanted an M16.
26: Tuesday
Yintien. Chilly at 45º They're here to put in the new heating system. I hope this isn't a huge mistake...
Rain last night: the dojo mulch is soaked. Can't practice on that stuff. Yuck. I keep thinking I made a mistake there, too... rats.
I e-mailed Carina at Raven Studios and sent her pictures of the broken guards. She says to send 'em to her for repair as she knows exactly what to do. She'll laminate the guards and make 'em a little thicker. Excellent! And I'll ask her to take a look at that blade, too.
27: Wednesday
Rain pattering lightly, turning to heavy sleet sounding like water sizzling on a hot griddle, turning to huge, silent flakes of snow dancing in the wind as I practiced... The snow accumulated, but it melted away quickly...
I don't know what to think of my forms today...
This morning, I packed up the chang daos and sent them off to Raven Studios for repair. Carina probably won't be able to do anything about that crack. I suppose I'll have to limit that weapon to forms practice. Rats. But we'll see.
I feel bad about those breaks now. I feel I deserve a scolding. If only we had more finesse—!
28: Thursday
Sunny and cold, but great for practice. Too bad the heating guys are here demanding my attention...
I did get in some Chen. Not too sloppy... I need to watch the DVD.
29: Friday
Sunny and cold— but not as cold as elsewhere. Here is was perfect weather for outdoor work. Practice, too. I meant to practice today, but there was always one more outdoor task to do...
I added the last two weed strips to the practice area and covered them with mulch. I was using two 5-gallon buckets, plodding back and forth, and I kept thinking of Kiddo hauling water up all those stairs under the cruel tutelage of Pai Mei...
A reference to which, by the way, lost me the only chance I've had at a date in the last two years. The guy was doing some work on the house and he stopped to chat while I was hauling. I mentioned my thoughts, referenced the movie. "Too violent," said he. "Too funny," said I. Too bad. *sigh* And we had been getting on so well.
So I took the Jeep over to the grain store in Glendale and told 'em to load up as many bales of straw as it would hold (7!), and brought 'em back and set them to protect the basement windows and the electric meter. I could probably use a few more bales, but we'll see..
And that's why I never did get to practicing today.
30: Saturday
I'm tired...
It's cold and there'a a light rain falling. Earlier this afternoon there was a little snow. But at 8 o'clock this morning it was 28º and the sky was interesting blue crisscrossed by all sorts of stratus clouds in colors ranging from bright white to deep gray...
Ma had taiji today, and I went to the store while she was there so we could go visit Margaret directly after class, which we did. Then, after I dropped Ma at her house, I came home to finish cleaning up under the back porch. I used up all the leaf bags and took a trip to Job Lots as a break. By the time I got back with the bags, it was a little warmer and the rain had started. I finished up what I could and decided it was time for some practice...
Stick... I was really getting into the rhythm of it and beginning to work on varying the beats when I came close to taking out the kitchen window. Now, this was stupid. I should've taken the stick into the side yard in the first place, but I woosed out because of the rain. *sigh*
Next I played with silk reeling while on bricks— still on the porch. Two bricks turned on edge, and you stand on them. You find out quickly if you're overbalancing... I've put aside four bricks for us to use tomorrow for push hands, if Matt's interested...
I didn't do particularly well on the bricks. Oh, I wasn't falling off or anything, but it did make me feel stiff, especially in the left leg, ankle, and hip... it should be very interesting pushing with Matt on the bricks...
Some 24 Form...
Not a lot of qi today. The sets were okay, but... I feel stiff on the left, especially in peacock. I worked that a bit to see if I could get the kinks out and was partially successful... I also worked yún shǒu in my Yang-Chen style...
After that, I tried a little TCA.. Still not much qi. I think the problem is that I'm not relaxed...
Or maybe I'm just really tired.
31: Sunday
Sunny and cold. The last day of 2006. Matt's coming over to practice...
This has been a really interesting year— a year of personal growth for me. And it seems that all the "bad" things that happened led to "good" things. I could never have have imagined all the ins and outs and ups and downs of this year. I could never have imagined meeting Matt. Surely Kwan Yin had her hand in that!
I tried setting some bricks on edge in the mulch and doing some silk reeling, but the surface, unsettled and partly frozen as it is, was too unstable— or maybe I'm just not master enough. Whatever, almost immediately I fell off. But my landing on the mulch was all I could've hoped for. I relaxed and fell back onto my butt and rolled to come up unbruised except in dignity. Yay!
So. I put the bricks aside, and did a little stick...
I love the way that bamboo stick Matt lent me whistles, even when I'm not swinging it hard and fast... And I love having the room to swing it now...
Some sword...
Sword requires a little more room, and the practice area is almost big enough... or maybe it's big enough if I find the right starting place. But I can extend the practice area if I have to...
Sword... better— I think. For sure, the space makes it easier...
Matt © 2006 New Moon
Matt and I stared with the Bargain Buyer, up on the porch. After a while, I asked Matt what I was supposed to do about being the attacker. I mean, heck, I don't know what I'm doing, that's the bottom line. I haven't had the chance to find out what to do. And it's all just a matter of practice...
And of getting out of my own way. I panic. And when I panic, I don't remember my taiji. Matt pointed out that I'm not even using my taiji.
Matt says he imagines scenarios in his head and develops responses that way. I have tried to do that in the past... but I've got a bee in my bonnet now about not knowing what I'm doing, and so I don't know what I'm doing...
Old tapes. Old, useless mental "tapes" that are holding me back. Time to get rid of the old tapes— an appropriate task for the last day of the old year.
Happy new year, everyone! Blessings on you all in the year to come.
Copyright © 2006 New Moon
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