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13 October 2000

Just after sunset, as I was setting out on my latest journey of self-discovery, two flights of geese went honking overhead. The almost-full moon was rising golden yellow in the clear sky over Sweet's Meadow then. Now The Moon of the Geese Flying South is nearing exact fullness, settling towards the west as I write. It's a beautiful night, full of magic... Tonight I attained the First Degree in my Reiki training.

We talked a lot, Jo, my Reiki Master, and I. We talked about healing and health, and the importance of touch. We talked about chi, and yin and yang... about tears and laughter and about being human. And we talked about personal power, too. About being whole. Mind, body, spirit, that's what makes a human being. Deny one aspect, deny the need for mental development and balance, deny the need for the physical give and take of yin and yang between men and women, deny the need for spiritual fulfillment, and you deny your humanity, deny yourself, deny the power of being truly human...

Once I thought I would like to be a Benedictine nun, cloistered, safe from the world. And later, I thought perhaps I could find peace by becoming a Zen Buddhist, aloof and serene, floating above the desires of the flesh and the material world. That's very appealing when you've been hurt by other human beings. You can't get hurt in places like that. But that's only because you are no longer truly human yourself.

Nowadays I'd rather be wholly human. And I'm willing to take my chances. I wouldn't trade the joy and delight I find in learning, and loving, and growing in spirit for sterile safety. Not now. Give me the rising moon to watch in the knowledge that I can never capture the moment again. Give me a lover to caress, knowing that it may be only for this moment. Give me spiritual growing pains to suffer each time I have to let go of another pet illusion. Give me these things and I will be happy. I will be human.

Yin and yang. Magic.

And now I will do my t'ai chi by the light of the full moon and savor the beauty of each moment, each movement...

Sleep soundly. Tomorrow will bring new delights, new adventures, new learning, new love... and maybe even pain. But enjoy it-- wallow in it-- revel in it! Share it! Share it all with others. Share it with someone special. Share the laughter and the tears. Be passionate. Be compassionate. Celebrate the yin and the yang; celebrate the differences and the way they combine to make the pattern whole...

Be the best human being you can be. It's the best thing you and I can do.


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