01: Friday
Yintien and cool at 65º...
There was an announcement in the paper yesterday about the RI Guard units being deployed. C Batallion was among them. It said they were going in September, but I don't know if that means that's when they report for training, or if that's when they're going...
Matt says he hasn't heard yet.
02: Saturday
Yintien. A little warmer, more humid...
Matt came over yesterday to practice. We played one horrible game of weíqí (I stink when he doesn't coach me!), and a
couple of hours of pushing— the which has destroyed both my shoulders! Oh— and we watched part of his George Xu video. (China's Living Treasures: Volume Thirty Three: Taijiquan Fundamental Training (Part Three)
...
I'm so tired. What's wrong with me?
Orange moon in the pines. Cool, capricious breeze stirring the chimes... a delightful night...
Matt came to practice again. We watched the rest of the video. Much of it look like Chen style fajing! I'm very glad Matt wanted this video— more glad than he, I think. The fajing! practice exercises are exactly what I need...
But what's wrong with me? I have't been practicing my forms. Each time I begin to do
so, I find I'm tired, and then I tell myself, "Tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll buckle down and
work on this." Even tongiht with the beautiful practice weather and the fajing! exercises to inspire me, I only practiced bits and pieces of xin
jia yi lu, and...
Today Matt and I practiced sticks. We're getting quite good at the sinawali routine.
Then we did quite a bit of striking and blocking practice— that was improved, too.
Then there was pushing, of course... I had to ban him from using the "tying opponent's
arms in a bow" maneuver because both my shoulder joints are suffering today. But we
played well. We are growing deep roots, I think. And we have fun.
I need to work on my presentation for Wednesday...
03: Sunday
Thunderstorms since dawn. Pouring rain. Fog.
No Matt today, and I didn't practice. (Probably just as well, given my shoulders!)
04: Monday
Rain and more rain...
24 Form, TCA, sword... some days I feel I still know nothing...
I remember now that as I dozed this morning before getting up, I was doing Chen in my head, puzzling on it...
I should watch Matt's video again and write down the exercises.
05: Tuesday
The rain has moved off leaving humidity and a capricious wind. I hate this kind of weather.
I did a little qigong and a little silk reeling last night. My shoulders ache a bit still from pushing...
Tomorrow I do my taiji workshop for Staff Development Day.
06: Wednesday
Grandma's Martial Art: Tajij
"Taiji is a lifelong physical fitness system. It's a great way to shape up for everyone from teenagers who have too much energy and want to learn a strenuous
martial art to octogenarians who want to gently soothe their arthritic aches and pains.
Medically proven to help arthritis sufferers and to improve balance in the elderly, taiji also lowers blood pressure, increases physical strength and stamina, and improves
overall health— and it's an effective way to defend yourself, too!"
That's the description for my Staff Development Day presentation. They said they wanted something "snappy sounding."
A pleasant day. Cool.
Matt can't come with me today. He has to go be inventoried to make sure all his GI
equipment is present and correct. Rats.
I got in some practice while waiting to begin. The stone floor felt very interesting...
I had a full complement of 15 participants. I think I was a dead bore, but... They got a
laugh out of the peng jing exercise where I had them partner up, one person "holding
the ball," and the other pushing straight in and getting thrown when the "ball" was
turned to the right or left side.
07: Thursday
A beautiful day. Sunny and cool.
Orange moon in the pine tonight...
I guess it went okay... yesterday, I mean. I don't know. Maybe it was boring. I only had
an hour and fifteen minutes to get the ideas across, and there are so many aspects to
taiji, and you never can tell what it is about taiji that will appeal to any given
person— if anything. Some people love it from the first moment, others hate it.
Some try it for a while and get bored.
This morning I helped out at Jo's "Farm Quest." Then I stopped to give Matt a travel
mug and "a bit of chocolate" for his road trip to Artillery School down in Pennsylvania.
He'll be away for a couple of weeks... (Watch your ass-muth, Matt!)
He came over last night and we played two games of weíqí and pushed... I've got to figure out how to
relax and still be able to shove 210 pounds around without using physical strength... I know it can be done; I just have to figure it out...
Heard from Lili today. She'll come by the green tomorrow.
08: Friday
A beautiful day.
I got in a lot of practice waiting for Lili. Sword, 24 Form, and Chen. I was sweating profusely by the time she showed up with her parents...
They are very nice. And they speak as much English as I speak Mandarin, so we just smiled and laughed a lot and traded our very limited words...
They brought me a beautiful white taiji outfit. And I gave them a big bag of fruit. I knew Lili had asked them to get me the outfit, and I felt I had to get them something... I feel like an idiot, but there you are.
Lili and I did a couple of sets of sword...
I didn't even notice my shoulders.
09: Saturday
Rain— thunderstorms. Fog. Pouring rain.
Some silk reeling... the horizontal circular routine where the hand traces the yin-yang symbol, constantly turning palm up, palm down... this feels so different now. My feet are planted and I don't feel any... resistance in my ankles or toes. My feet rest flat on the boards, connected.
Through the window at the lodge, I could see David and some of the others practicing fan form at the end of Ma's class. He's been teaching fan to the Wednesday class. Ma says he mentioned that there are six sets, each is performed faster than the last. Interesting. I'm thinking I'll call David and see if I can get into the next class— if there is one. He can only say, NO!
10: Sunday
A beautiful day. Cool, dry air... an excellent day for cloud watching, too: brilliant blue sky with high cirrus clouds and lots of fluffy cumulus clouds shifting and changing below them. Even Ma noticed the sky. She commented on it when we left for Ruth's and was craning her neck during the whole ride to watch the clouds.
This morning I let myself sleep, and when I got up, I spent some time on the web site. I've fallen way behind in transcribing the entries, and I've been wondering lately if I even want to keep the site.
It's overcast tonight. No stars, and very dark out back. For a wonder, none of the neighbors have any lights on! It's fairly quiet, too; only a bit of a drone from some air conditioners down the street echoing between the houses...
I lit a few candles and watched the fireflies as I practiced...
Some 24 Form... I felt a bit tense and my balance was off on the first sets...
Some TCA... Lucy was at coffee today. She's on the mend and hoping she'll be able to get the presescription her doctor wrote for her filled soon: Taiji! She studied taiji for a long time, but had to quit when the rheumatoid arthritis kicked up. She misses it something terrible. I told her to give me a call as soon as she's feeling ready to begin.
Sticks... better... my hands are getting stronger... sinawali with the rattan sticks, then some of the orientale... then largo mano, slowly at first, then with power...
A little sword showed me I was tired. But my shoulders are mending. Maybe it's good that Matt's has to be away for a while.
11: Monday
Cloudy to start, but clearing by noon. Cool.
Some practice on the green after work...
24 Form... Chen... I left the sword at home because it looked like rain when I left...
I have a blister on my thumb from the sticks...
I was reading Scott Rodell's book of essays on ("Taiji Notebook for Martial Artists") this morning. He says that the Yang style was derived from Chen— which came before it— as a refinement of the art. He says the Yang style is more subtle, more internal, but no less powerful. That's an interesting idea to consider...
I've learned a lot from the Yang style, that's for sure. But I'm glad I learned the Chen, too, even though I haven't figured it out. Yet.
He said another thing I found curious: that in Yang style you learn fajing! from the sword form. I suppose that could be so, but until WTCD when I took that sword workshop with Tony Suarez, I don't think I ever saw anyone doing fajing! with a sword. And that's strange, because Jonas showed us fajing! with the lance... I'll have to find out more about this.
12: Tuesday
A changeable day. Sun and cloud. The wind keeps shifting. I expect we'll have rain...
Sticks... sinawali... the blister bothers me a bit— should've put a bandaid on it... every day I'm a little stronger...
Orientale...
The roses are blooming and there's yellow-green pine pollen all over everything...
"... weapons provide a device into which to fajin (release energy) within the framework of a form... It is also easier to fajin into a sword or long weapon because neither the steel nor wood will soften and learn how to yield... weapons are the perfect practice partner for training fajin..."
Scott A. Rodell
"Taiji Notebook for Martial Artists"
The Notebook is interesting reading, especially the parts about sanshou and tuishou. I'm going to have Matt read those chapters when he gets back and see what he thinks.
13: Wednesday
Gray and cool and drizzling now. But earlier it was sunny...
I've been thinking a lot about things Scott Rodell said in his book. I'm not sure I agree with all of them... the essays are from 15 or more years ago when he was a beginning student — like me. I think I'd like to learn sanshou and tuishou from a good teacher. Maybe I can go to some workshops.
...
60º. Cloudy. In the twilight bats dart and glide silently between the pine and dogwood boughs...
24— no, sticks first. Sinawali, doing my best to retract quickly and completely so I can use the movement of my forearm to power the strikes (not to mention keep from hitting myself!)... the blister is turning into a callus...
24 Form... I'm tense tonight and so my balance is off...
I noticed something in yún shǒu
: I've been trying to gather the trailing foot in while I'm still transferring the weight to the leading leg! Duh! No wonder I've felt so awkward trying to pull that foot in! That's what you get for not practicing mindfully.
The tension didn't seem to be dissipating, so I quit, thinking to do a few more sets later... maybe...
Orientale, both sides, both leads... easy and hard... I can feel it in my left forearm and bicep muscles... It'll take a lot of practice to get strong.
14: Thursday
Gray and cool. Dull. Spirit-sinking.
Stepping with my tea, trying to figure it all out...
My right foot still steps out a little too far forward of the "mǎ bù line" when I don't pay strict attention...
For diagonal stepping, you slide the stepping foot out along the same line you'd use to step into mǎ bù, but you let your toe turn outwards to point along the line of travel...
It's because I know I want to move forward that my attention is there, forward, and my stepping foot therefore cheats— especially my right foot!— and comes down ahead/forward of the rooted foot, so I don't have a nice, balanced mǎ bù stance...
It's because my left hip still has issues. Even after all these years. But I'm working on it...
Later
Yún shǒu... no problem when I'm paying attention...
Sticks... sinawali... Orientale...
I pulled my left shoulder today scything away at the hawkweed and tall grass growing around the practice area. If you don't pay attention and xiao jie ling jing! that's what happens. And I wasn't paying attention on a couple of swings.
15: Friday
Sun and cool. (60º) Black flies are out, though...
Stepping with my tea... up and down... forwards and backwards and around, too...
My left foot doesn't want to grip— relax. There is tension in it, and when I step, it doesn't... conform like jelly in a plastic bag to the surface...
The right foot does so. And then, flexing the toes makes a feeling of suction at the bubbling well...
*sigh* Guess I'm sailing in the doldrums now. Hope the current brings be out soon.
Later
As I was walking up Thayer Street to work today, my right foot began to itch something fierce around the big toe joint. I think it had to do with the stepping. Some realignment was taking place— and this ins't the first time. I've developed numb spots and sore spots on both feet from time to time that I know come from practice changing the way I use my feet and the way I balance... Oh! It did itch! And scratching didn't relieve it. So I just kept walking and it calmed down after a while.
It was beautiful on the green. There are very few people around, so it was quiet except for a guy playing a steel string guitar. He had some skill and the music was mellow.
Sword, lots of sword... remembering to feel the pressure of pushing the point into the target and the pull of drawing it out...
Sticks... sinawali and Orientale and largo mano...
In the largo mano, I made sure each strike came from the tip making a full arc...
A litte 24 Form...
My body is continually changing and readjusting as I learn more about balance. I even notice changes in the way I walk.
I was reading "The Naked Warrior" tonight, looking at the exercises, reading about the techniques. The author talks about the way to do the squatting exercises without damaging the knees, and theway to do that is the taiji way, i.e., don't let your knee go over/past your toe. There are lots of pictures in the book, and in every one, by gosh, amazing as the exercises are, you can see that the knee never does go over the toe...
Very good, sound technique— and not easy, either. The author says it will take most people a long time to work up to doing these exercises, and that they must do it gradually. No kidding.
Pistol squats. One legged squats. You hold one leg extended straight out in front of you while you sink down on the other leg until the back of the thigh touches the calf— and don't let your knee go past your toe!
You start learning this exercise by first squatting down to touch your butt to a bench, then to successively lower levels... Yeah, it will take some time.
Sagittarius is twinkling aove the trees. On the way back from Ma's I saw Scorpio to the south, and Ara just above the trees... Lots of stars tonight...
It's a beautiful night... cool, though. Cool enough that I've shut the door.
16: Saturday
A summer day. Cool to begin, then warming... an opal sky full of pastel and iridescent colors, then thunderstorms moving quickly through... a striking sunset of grays and golds and reds, then cooling air...
Silk reeling... lots of qi...
The stars are out and there's mist in the meadow. Rain drips and it seems very dark.. quiet, too, except for the trilling of a tree frog...
I miss Matt. I'm going to bed.
17: Sunday
A beautiful day, if a little too warm for my taste at 80º... at least there's a nice breeze.
Some sword... going slowly...
Friday night on the green, I timed one of my sets of 24 Form and it was about 5 minutes. I felt I was going slowly, but evidently I dont' go as slowly as I used to...
Last night I came across some online videos of Master Wang Yen-nien doing his form. A Yang style.) He was going very slowly, very mindfully, and it was a pleasure to watch the qi flow... Guess I need to work on slowing down.
Some cháng dāo...
I do wish Matt was interested in learning this form... *sigh* Ah, well...
There's going to be a sword seminar in Boston in August. Scott Rodell's student has a place in Somerville. I think I'll call and find out more about it...
18: Monday
Beautiful day. 68º
Sword on the green... maybe I should go to that seminar...
A little 24 Form... very slowly...
"Slow" feels different now.
19: Tuesday
Beautiful day... noisy as hell. Construction project down the street, sewer project up the street, and pool pump next door. I stayed inside this morning...
It's quiet now, after sunset. I caught a whiff of skunk outside. I can hear a few peeptoads, see a lot of very large fireflies...
I practiced in the near-dark and it didn't help...
Sometimes I wonder if I know any taiji. Tonight I wobbled and stuttered, overbalanced and underbalanced, and... basically, I sucked.
But, what's worse, is that I realized I'm bored with taiji. I used to practice and each set's insufficiencies made me want to go back and do it better. Now I don't care...
Maybe it's the retrograde Mercury...
Maybe it's the accumulated day to day stress...
Will I see it through? Will I give up taiji? Tonight, I really don't know.
20: Wednesday
Rain to begin, then clearing...
It was pleasant on the green after work— if you didn't mind how rank the damp earth smelled...
Some 24 Form...
I timed my sets and tried to go slowly. The last set was about six and a half minutes. I can go slowly...
And it wasn't boring.
A little stick...
I pulled my left shoulder on Orientale, but I did okay with the sinawali and getting the strikes to work— I keep getting blisters... I wonder if I should've gotten thicker sticks. They would've been easier to grip.
It's a beautiful night— at quarter to ten, there was still some light in the west. Tomorrow is the solstice... is tonight or tomorrow night the shortest?
I should hold a long dance.
21: Thursday
Solstice. A beautiful day (except for the noise!)...
I pulled the optimistic weeds in the practice area. After that, a little sword...
Sword right is going well, but sword left... is a bit confused. On the first sets I got into a loop, but slowing down fixed that...
I try to find the resistance, try to find the jing, but... it semed very clear when Tony Suarez was demonstrating— it's always clear when someone who knows what he's doing demonstrates!— but when I'm on my own—
I know the principles. I do. But on my own I feel lost. Is this merely a lack of self-confidence? I wonder.
I've emailed to get info about that sword seminar Scott Rodell listed for August in Somerville.
Sticks... sinawali... I'm getting more of a "whack" on both strikes...
I tried whacking the straw bales. Yecch! I've got to get new straw!
And I need to build a tire on a post to whack, too.
Later
A pretty sunset, then clouds and lightning moved through— for all the flashing, they only grumbled and spit a bit and moved off...
Some 24 Form in the evening light...
I set the stove timer: three sets, each just over 6 minutes. Slowly as I tried to go, 6 minutes was the best I could do— and waving and creeping and grasping were not well coordinated.. and my balance sucked. Rats. There's only one cure: more practice!
22: Friday
Rain to begin, and continuing on and off, but sunny and cool and breezy after work on the green...
Sword... until the storm rolled in out of the north...
I stopped at Jo's. Her computer was on the fritz, so it was 8 o'clock before I left. But I was rewarded with a spectacular sunset full of colors and mists and rain and clouds. I'm glad I didn't miss it.
23: Saturday
Sunny, cool, and breezy...
Sticks... sinawali...
Found myself in a wild pattern of intertwining figure eights. More like a display than a practice technique, really, but it was neat...
I went back to the drill, though, and then into Orientale with footwork...
I should probably try to do this three times a day to build up my strength.
Tonight Ma and I went over to the Assembly to see "The Unsinkable Molly Brown." Some of the singing was "in the cracks," but...
On the way home, we saw the blue heron wading below the dam. So tall and elegant and graceful... a slender white ess curve standing there... and then he spread his wings and flew up and off, low across the still water, into the night... neat.
24: Sunday
Beautiful day, sunny, cool and breezy— and best of all Matt is back! He called a little after eleven to ask if I felt like training. Well— duh! He came right over...
It was so good to be playing with him again... oh, so good...
I did well, too. I pushed him quite a few times, and I rooted out and redirected many of the pushes he tried on me...
I sprained my right ring finger a bit, and I have a few small bruises from Matt catching my upper arm, and I know I'll feel the pushing in my muscles tomorrow.
We played a good game of wei qi, too. Matt only coached me on a couple of moves. He won, but it was a good, close game...
Matt reports for training in mid September.
25: Monday
26: Tuesday
27: Wednesday
28: Thursday
29: Friday
30: Saturday
