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Season VII
"Premiere"
First of all, I want to know why anyone-- Anyone-- outside of
a pathological engraver with a penchant for cryptography-- would
carve all those silly religious & pseudo-scientific "quotations"
on the outside of his-- or anyone else's-- spaceship? Does this
make sense? (And have you proved it's a spaceship? How? As I
see it, Hon, what we have here is an artifact.)
Next, Scully, I want a recount on the number of human
chromosomes. I could be wrong, but I don't remember it being
twenty-four. Or were you
talking aliens or mutants? And what has that got to do with
anything, anyway?
And, finally, I want to know-- again, this
is directed at you, Scully-- why did you tell Mulder you have
discovered "The Key"? You have discovered nothing-- zilch--
bupkis!-- except maybe a swarm of killer clothes moths (And why
did you not just leave the tent, or carry the stupid lantern outside,
by the way?). Whatever "key"
you may feel yourself to be in possession of, you have proved
nothing. But perhaps you are
alluding to a "key" you found in a box
of Cracker Jacks you had for breakfast on the plane?
Well, Scully, I have to say I'm bitterly disappointed by the lack of
science and scientific method being displayed. But by gum, lady, you
were looking good. New makeup. And those tight shirts and low camera angles were
very-- did Aaron Spelling direct this episode? But then you would
have arrived at that dig
site in shorts and a halter top, instead of that unattractive and
unrevealing khaki suit with the
straight ankle-length skirt that no woman in her right mind would
have worn to a dig site even if she had to stop at a store on the
way to buy something else-- not to mention a sensible pair of shoes!
And what about Mulder? (At last! A situation in which Mulder's
hairstyle looks appropriate!) Poor Mulder. Getting a telepathic earful from all and
sundry. (I'm wondering if he laughed himself insane listening to
Agent Fowley's and A.D. Skinner's thoughts.) And why wasn't
his mother called when he collapsed?
Supposedly, he's dying. I can understand the FBI having power of
intervention for medical emergencies involving
their agents which would remove the necessity of having to get
permissions and releases from next of kin, but, really, in a case
like this, they'd've had to call his mom.
Nuts. And there isn't anything else to comment on, is there? Because,
as you must have noticed if you were watching, and your brain was
on, in this episode, nothing happened.
I can't wait until next week.
--JII
Extra Credit Questions:
- When was the Koran written?
- When did the Navaho People occupy the lands in the Southwest;
and why is Louis L'Amour so popular?
- Why does everyone always drag in the Bible?
- Why in heck doesn't anyone get suspicious when these "mysterious
writings" can be interpreted by applying a straight letter for letter
substitution? (Is there anyone out there who thinks the ancient
Navaho would have called "DNA" "DNA"?)
- Why is Scully seeing a Witch Doctor? (He say, Ooh, eee, ooh, ah-ah;
ting, tang, walla-walla, bing-bang; ooh, eee, ooh, ah-ah, ting-tang,
walla-walla, bing, bang! Some truths are not for you. (-- Remember? --))
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