9 February 99

"What has it got in its pocketses?"
-- Gollum

I wear jeans most of the time, and I never carry a pocketbook. When I change my jeans, I have to transfer the contents of my pockets. Each pocket has its peculiar contents, which seldom varies.

Right front pocket has change, folded money, and whatever there is of a roll of "Moosebreath Mints" (Wintergreen Breath Savers). The "change pocket" contains my small, blue Swiss Army knife.

Left front pocket is for the "incidentals." Contents are mostly fixed, but also reflect recent experience. Spare truck key with safety pin attached to the ring. Five hairloops: four black, one hot pink. Two amythest "gems" which were once attached to costumes worn in a touring porduction of "Much Ado About Nothing." Two new pennies; one "wheatie." A "Harshaw" Tri-Chrome Plus keychain screwdriver. A clear green marble. A screw which looks as if it's from a computer cover; another pan-head screw, 3/4" ISO threads (heaven knows where that came from). Odd piece of chromed plastic that looks like it broke off something. And my lucky rock: a smooth, round, flat piece of pink granite I found off Point Judith Light in 1974.

Back left pocket has what passes for my wallet. Credit cards, bank cards, driver's license, insurance cards, library cards, video store card, and a small metal "mirror" in a creditcard-sized plastic sleeve, some credit card receipts, and ATM slips, are all smushed together in what used to be one of those plastic wallet inserts, but now is torn, separate pieces of clear plastic.

Back right pocket is empty now. When I go out, that's where I carry my keys. When I come in, I hang the keys on a paperclip hooked to the curtain rod on the front door. For many years I carried a comb in this pocket, but I lost a bunch of them, and then I realized I never use one anyway, so I didn't replace the last comb I lost. (That was over 12 years ago.)

When I'm wearing jeans, I always put the things I carry in their assigned pockets. I am a creature of habit. But I never misplace my keys.

Sometime I tell you what I do when I don't have pocketses.


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