The Madwoman's Journal
Copyright 1998 New Moon

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Things will have changed.

Saturday: 8 August 98

I've learned not to allow days like this to get me down, but I do resent them…

You know how it is: you wake up and you've been dreaming, but you can't remember the dream, except for unsettling flashes of the dreamscape in your head that make it impossible to go back to sleep, so you get up. You take a shower, hoping it will help, but it doesn't. Trying not to look in the mirror, you comb your wet hair, then you get dressed, and go in search of coffee…

The uncomfortable, unsettling feeling is still with you as you run cold tap water over the last of the instant… and you think of Holly Golightly, and you think of yesterday and how much you didn't get done, how short of expectation you fell… and you hate yourself, and you hate where you are… you hate your life

You feel lost… powerless…

As you drink the tepid coffee you think: Today is just going to be another dead loss…

Is it? It's entirely up to me. I hate that.

The longest journey begins with a single step, and it's length is accomplished by putting one foot in front of the other, day after day, year after year. And so I stumble along, knowing only that I must keep going…

And, just to make the day perfect, I've learned that I will have to completely-- completely redesign this site because there are size limitations on the pages-- I don't suppose it was worth mentioning up front, was it, people?

It is, indeed, one of those days.

The Madwoman's Journal 9 Aug 98
The Madwoman's Journal 6 Aug 98
The Madwoman's Journal Index of Entries.

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