23 March 2001
A short respite from winter and I am spoiled. I feel a slight chill in the house, I hear the wind blowing, and I am reluctant to go out and practice! What a wuss.
I slept too much this morning and had strange dreams. Old boyfriends, I think. Disquieting. I remembered the dreams a little when I woke, and I thought about them a bit before I got up, but I can't remember them now.
In a waking dream I do remember feeling my teacher's— David's disapproval, and a little feeling of... meanness directed towards me. But I think it was only my own disapproval of myself colored by the disturbing dreams. I'm the one who isn't pleased with my progress.
The other night at Jo's we talked a bit about T'ai Chi. She used to date a T'ai Chi instructor. Jo misses it, but hasn't got time to study again. As we went on talking about this and that, it became obvious that she hasn't lost the T'ai Chi she learned, she has just unconsciously incorporated it into herself and is using it constantly in ways she doesn't recognize as T'ai Chi. When I pointed this out, she agreed. Interesting. Maybe nothing ever is lost or wasted.
Copyright © 2001 New Moon
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